Happy Father’s Day Letter to the Unfathered

Happy Father’s Day to all those little girls and boys who don’t have fathers or only know their fathers from a great physical or emotional distance.

Happy Father’s Day to all the women and men in my life whose fathers have hurt them beyond repair, whose fathers have committed disloyal and unforgivable acts, whose fathers have not been fathers.

Happy Father’s Day to those mothers and fathers who have bravely “fathered” their children or those individuals who have “fathered” their artistic/political/spiritual aspirations in spite of their own father’s absence. This is one of the bravest acts we can participate in, for it is here that we heal.

Happy Father’s Day to those who feel lonely on this day, because they do not know or understand the meaning of “father.”

Happy Father’s Day to those of you who don’t have much to celebrate today because for some unfair or incomprehensible reason, life hasn’t delivered you with a fatherly presence that you can count on.

Happy Father’s Day to those of you who feel the need to be silent on this day, when the rest of the country is celebrating.

I applaud you and I applaud myself, for standing brave in a world where we have had to learn to father ourselves and father our children.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Happy Father’s Day Letter to the Unfathered

  1. I love this. Never having a close connection with my father I used to dream about what it would be like to be in a loving household with the mother and the father. I never saw my mother and my father hated me for not being like him. I never wanted to be like him.

    1. I didn’t have a close enough connection to my father to know whether I wanted to be like him or not. I’m sorry you didn’t have that connection with your mother or father. I’m honestly sorry for all of us who didn’t have that connection. But hopefully we build other connections throughout our lives that nurture us.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s